With near untethered access to the inner workings – well, at least the ‘happy’ inner workings – of a football dressing room, we now know more than we ever did about its dynamics.
After every training session or game, at least three-quarters of the team will be posting ‘funny’ videos and images of their teammates. This gives us a greater idea than ever about who is actually funny (well, at least ‘football funny’) and who is, well, just plain dull.
In celebration of ‘It Chapter Two’, here are six of the biggest dressing room clowns in world football.
Let’s face it, Benjamin Mendy is now far more famous for his off-field persona than he is for his on-field performances. Indeed, the fact that his most famous performance to date is probably the 40-minute outing against Denmark in the World Cup group stages that preceded his centre stage-like presence in the final celebrations highlights this perfectly.
Of course, this is mainly because the Frenchman has been riddled with injury so often over the last few years, so it’s nice to see a player find joy in such a time of despair, even if it might, on occasion, cause such the opposite emotion for boss Pep Guardiola.
In any case, Mr Shark is an arch troller.
In the pantheon of dressing room clowns, no one has trodden the path of the great James Milner. The man is an entity all unto himself.
That’s because Milner’s initial public presence was restricted to parody in the form of ‘Boring James Milner’. Cannily, the midfielder later co-opted and made this his own, before proving he was anything but by branching off into his own bits, like the one above.
And his teammates can confirm this state of affairs, with defender Andrew Robertson revealing:
“If you don’t know him, I think everyone goes off the Boring James Milner Twitter page. I maybe walked in a bit surprised that he’s probably the biggest joker in our changing room.”
Don’t judge a book by its cover, kids.
Of course, it helps that David Luiz‘s infamous curls instantly evoke clownery, but the Brazilian has worked hard over the years to back this impression up with consistent tomfoolery.
From coining the catchphrase ‘Geezer’ to randomly rugby-tackling unaware Chelsea TV presenters to the ground, the centre back was always looking to get the laughs in. At times, this made his on-field gaffes all the more funny, but in that way, his commitment to the bit has been admirable over the years.
What can I say, the man is just funny.
From confirming his household hero status by meme-ing himself (above) during the World Cup, to turning up to his debut England training camp with rubbish bags instead of luggage (hence why that ‘bins out’ reference is so hilarious), Maguire is a loveable joker.
Whether he’d have me in stitches after a five-minute monologue is up for debate, but that’s okay, cause he just has to sit on an inflatable unicorn and I’ll chuckle.
This may be my favourite picture of 2019. It’s an unbelievably rich text – both sad and hilarious at the same time.
But that’s not why Danny Drinkwater makes the cut. It’s not just the name, either. Danny Drinkwater makes the cut because, as revealed by Ruben Loftus-Cheek in an interview with FourFourTwo, and despite not playing a minute of the 2018/19 campaign, Danny Drinkwater is/was Chelsea’s biggest joker.
The midfielder explained in no uncertain terms: “Danny Drinkwater is probably the dressing room clown now, which might surprise a few people!” Well, not me Ruben. Not one bit.
DD has ‘it’. That’s clear to see.
If we’re going off this summer, Diego Costa is the current clown MVP. The Brazilian-born Spanish international has been in the form of his life off the field, culminating in THAT incredible fishing reenactment in the early stages of Atletico Madrid’s pre-season.
Costa has always had a cheeky streak though – who could forget his Grand Theft Auto of a golf cart at the Chelsea training ground, or his cardboard box antics, or his commandeering of Antonio Conte’s press conference with a fire extinguisher. Vintage stuff.
This article is brought to you by IT Chapter Two, in cinemas soon.
Check out the trailer below:
Source : 90min